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It's hot its bloody well hot ,summer in new york sucks i mean ...its just hot.  i knew i would not finish the project i was working on i am such a fickle person.. but i was at work and the thought popped into my head once again ..so i think ill try to put some thought and work into my little writing project.. i think its hard for me to stick with it because its subject is really close to my heart... anyway all i can really do is try


does it reallly have to be so mother fing cold. its like a second winter, although its not too bad it could have been a snowstorm or some other shit. and i would still have to go to work . ah me  winter is still kicking ass in new york city, i cant wait till spring though , hope we skip summer and just go straight to fall cause we all know how much i hate summer.


I hate work

I hate work but not really hate it ,well I am happy that I have a job right. anyway it's still not that cold in New York not that I mind, shoveling snow is something I so do not look forward to. and I am saving tons on heating cost so yea for global warming. kidding of course. I.m just tired I guess so I started the project I was talking about and hopefully I'll see it through my biggest issue , I;m fickle. nothing holds my attention for that long no I have no learning disabilities I just get bored easily people have to be umber interesting for me to pay them much attention. is umber even a word oh well another day is ending in the city that never sleeps.


I feel strange. its been a long time. oh my god winter is here again although it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. My life oh god my life , its the same and that is quite scary. I feel like I am forever moving backwards even though I'm running forward. it's a strange bloody feeling. I have decided to start a project, a writing project. i have only written when I'm in a fucked up mood, but I want to try something while my head is clear and my mood is stable oh god now I sound like I'm nuts which I'm not i swear.


i always thought of myself as a people person, but my god working in a pharmacy and having to deal with customers really turned me off ...I hate working.. people are so fucking inconsiderate it's disgusting.. mind you i always prided myself as being an open easy going person but man did I change of course I still want to help people or else why would I have wasted my tie getting my psychology degree,, i want to help people but working for people is driving me nuts ..does that make any sense... woe is me... .

The moon ,bright simmering light ,bathes me,  with tears that burn the core of my being.. restless I stare unblinking into the night hoping praying ,the sun comes all too soon stripping the comfort that has once again eluded me


Anyway... it's still hot, oh my god I want fall to come now,,New York City is nasty in the summer i don't care about the nice hot sun, the beach, the park,, what the fuck ever.. i want the cool breeze of the fall i need to see the changing of the leaves i want to wear my hoodie and complain about how cold it's going to be... oh well i guess i have to wait and bear the hell that is humid NYC..

Why Summer

I hate summer ..ok yeah you can go to the beach but that gets old like after two seconds.. where the hell is winter,I want cold brisk air ,light snow, cause shoveling is no fun whatsoever. I missed Linkin Park today they played at jones beach .man am I bummed oh well ..life goes on and I have work tomorrow WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Well, another day has gone by ,weel another day is starting. I can never tell which day it is because I have such bad sleeping habits, or it could be I'm lazy. Still cold in New York, I like it though, haven't seen too much tourists around but that could be because I ignore all around me.. I hate my job working in a pharmacy sucks man, people are so fucking stupid..well they are on some heavy shit so maybe I'll excuse them.. I'm feeling pretty reflective lately, about life and shit or what the hell I'm supposed to do. Maybe some serious drinking or some destructive sex will help me get some perspective ..yeah that will work...ah by this time next week I should be good ..later


Well New York City sucks in the winter, I'm waiting for the big snow storm to come so I can stay home and what happens ..the sky spits rain at me while I'm walking to work.. ah me.. It could be worse ..no.... this...  is bad I want an excuse not to have to go to work..now I sound childish worse yet sulky.. I hate sounding sulky. which is crazy since I love to bitch and whine to get my way..oh well I've got my health.. that Airborne thing really works  8 dollars for seven pills that shit better work..I digress while I humbly go back to my knitting... kidding ..although i would love to learn how to knit.. ah well my PS3 is calling ...



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